The Perfect Woman

“Painting the Perfect Woman” – this pretty much sounds like a title of a dark classic novel that doesn’t end well. You know, that sort of book that leaves a gaping wound of anxiety and freshly minced doubt of how the world’s reality actually work?

An imperfect man painting his perfect woman.

Beautiful eyes, body toned as sweet as a Victoria’s Secret model, lips that could make the night bloom, voice with an acoustic of a midnight orchestra, makes love like porn star who can act, reads the same book you read, listens to the same music you do, reads and loves your poetry, laughs at your joke every time, dances like a ballerina swaying through lounge jazz music and does the samba like a mellow inferno on ice…and it continues until it builds up that ‘perfect woman’

An imperfect man painting his perfect woman.

Will we ever meet the perfect woman? Never – at least not the ‘perfect one’ you had in mind. Perfection skips as we grow older and personally change.

The perfect woman? She would come from coal – and in time as you take it – would build up into a diamond. And that kind of perfection is built to last a lifetime.

I want to make a movie about the perfect woman. Now, I need to build up on the story and an actors and actresses. Timeline? Nobody knows.

Wild Beast 1

First painting after more than a year or two. Moving as though I could understand the patterns I laid out then eventually surrendering to what it is right now. A plant that I can’t identify what it is for sure.

Another thing I love about watercolor. You plan on how you want the piece to look like – then paint like surrendering to the elements of the piece.

Wild Beast 1: Watercolor

Organized Chaos

Watercolor, is my primary medium – I prefer it over anything else. And painting with watercolor is some sort of organized chaos – you craft up a quick sketch to hold down the structure of your piece. You can be as accurate and as detailed as you want with the sketching but as soon as the brush hits the paper with watercolor, it will NEVER ever follow what you plan for 100%. It will blend, toss, blot, etc. somehow having a life its own as you stroke through your piece. With watercolor, you can never repeat a painting with 100% accuracy. You paint – and you let water paint for you as well hoping you two will find this compromise to somehow show what you both want for the piece.

It’s just a splendid medium to work with.You work with a structure to somehow hold a chaotic romance of colors.

Just as I am with organizing with work in general lately – I put in place structures to hold in place with whatever project or task I’m supposed to do and run the plan. I want thing as black and white as possible – but in reality it isn’t. You can never be certain of what the outcome actually is or how the next minute will run for whatever you’re doing. Just as with watercolor, you plan and draw up the image you want to paint and try to have your final piece exhibit as much. Usually, again, it doesn’t come just exactly how you want it. As a watercolor artist, just as Alex Ross had put it, you just have got to reach a point of ‘artistic exhaustion’ – when you just can’t add anymore to it. And somehow find satisfaction to your painting so you can let it go.

But that’s a different story. I rarely, if not never, reach satisfaction with my paintings. But I guess, there’s the beauty in such a fault for me, because I try to find another or do better. I always want that challenge.

I have an array of tasks lined up at work that sort of resembles an eclipse – if not a multi-planetary alignment all together. But, yet again – I’ll savor the challenge. Working with organized chaos.